Thursday, September 29, 2016

Self- Diagnosis

I'm a self-diagnosed perfectionist.

I've decided.

I think that's what it means when you uncover some kind of crazy truth about yourself without the help of a medical professional. I've struggled with believing I was good enough in various facets of my life for a number of years. The time I've spent overanalyzing decisions I've made, outfits I've worn, things I've said, people I've shared my time with, situations I've been in, and obstacles I've faced completely baffles me. If I'm being honest... I'm ready to be done with that shit.

As one self-diagnosed individual does, I have determined that I require a specific course of action to help curb the progression of this perfectionism. The easiest form of therapy would be to simply say, screw it and move on every time I find myself doubting my "ENOUGH-NESS." Unfortunately, that course of action is probably akin to looking at a Nicorette patch without the intent of placing it on one's skin. I can also confirm that this strategy would not be practical for this individual given my ability to think about things far longer than the average human should be able to mull things over.

I think the most appropriate course of action is actually self-realization. When I find myself criticizing the fabulous woman in the mirror, I simply need to take a moment to remember what I know to be true about myself:

1. My worth is innate. No one can tell me who I am or what I am worth. Only I can determine that.

2. I recognize that no person who contributes to me feeling less than I am worth is not someone I will chose to spend time with. Sorry people... if your presence in my life is causing me to feel crappy, I'm cutting you out. Life is too short for me to worry about what you think. 

3. In conjunction with that, I also know it is absolutely impossible for me to make everyone happy. Despite nearly 30 years of attempting this... I'm giving up. It's not going to happen, so I'm going to focus on my one obligation... Me. 

4. Life has blessed me with some truly beautiful people that I can confide in when I need it.

5. Perfectionism is not a disease... it's a flaw and I'm flawed and that's okay. 

It's all just a part of this journey to growth, gratitude and grace, right!?

Stay Sweet, Friends~


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