Disclaimer: This blog was written over the course of two very difficult weeks. It's amazing what a little love and some hope can do. :)
People in my life are hurting. Some are grieving loved ones, some are in physical pain, others are dealing with an emotional setback… whatever the reason, I’ve found myself in a sea of hurt. While none of the events of the past few weeks have affected me directly, people I love are seemingly drowning in their various holes of despair.
My reaction, “Be the wall, Allison. They need you to lean on. Stop shaking, take a breath and hold that little girl who just lost her father. Comfort that athlete who just suffered a season ending injury. Be there for your friend who had to bury her pet. Proof read the eulogy of your friend’s husband. Then go to work, smile all day and get to the car before you lose it. You can do it, because you have to.”
And I do have to. As humans, we are caretakers. It is in our DNA to want to help others, and my DNA is hard wired to make sure everyone is okay. Even if that means I am not. I’m struggling these days to find a balance between taking care of myself and making sure those people in my life who are going through incredible tragedies are all right.
Sitting at my desk I have to fight the urge to check my text messages, in between tasks. I am frequently loosing track of the task at hand and finding myself gazing in to space wondering how each one of these injured souls is doing.
My heart hurts for them. It truly does. I wish, with everything in me, that I could take their pain away, give them back their loved ones, and call it a day. Alas, I know that giving life is only in my job description when I decide to become a mother.
The circle of life is a terrifyingly beautiful concept. We live and we die, and its up to us to decide how we spend our time on this Earth. For me, I want to make sure that my loved ones know that I love them.
Taking life day to day is only something a person can do for so long. It’s part of healing…putting one foot in front of the other. We all do it, whether we realize it or not. We get up each day, regardless of our own personal struggles, and we just live. To quote the inspirational Robin Roberts, “Everybody’s got something,” and it is our job as a society to make sure that we are doing our part to recognize that.
Road rage at a speeding car? That mother may have just gotten the worst phone call of her life. Irritated by an outburst on social media? That man may have just lost his job. Your friend won’t text you back? They may be spending some of their last days with a loved one anticipating the inevitable. Everybody’s got something, and it’s not easy to understand why people act, say or do the things they do.
Me? I try to look to my faith. I try to pray about life’s struggles before they get out of hand. I try to remember that the person who treated me poorly may be having a worse day than I am. And that helps. Through all of the struggles of my loved ones lately, it’s been easy for me to put things in perspective, sometimes that is hard to do when things are going so well.
A song I have been LOVING lately is Carrie Underwood’s, “Something in the Water.” It is a great reminder that when you give everything up to Him, and have “just a little faith, it’ll all get better.” Relinquishing control is not something I’m good at… so this, in itself is a daily challenge for me. However, it’s easier with words like this…
“Got joy in my heart, angels on my side.
Thinking about it I saw the light
Gonna look ahead, no turning back,
Live everyday give it all that I have
Trust in someone bigger than me
Ever since the day that I believed
I am changed, I am stronger…”
So I’m going to keep getting up each day putting one foot in front of the other, giving those around me as much support as I can muster, and things WILL get better for them, as long as we can have a little faith.