Dreams

It's been another long hiatus for this writer... not from writing, but simply from this platform. I've had a lot on my plate lately, so posting for the masses has had to take a back seat. I so appreciate the support and encouragement I've received from some of you! Lots of loving vibes are being felt and sent back your way! So thank you, thank you, thank you!!!



I've spent the past two years writing and interning for an organization that completely enhanced and transformed my life. I've built relationships with women in all corners of this country and some across the globe. My heart has drummed one beat after another for the cause that is I AM THAT GIRL. I have had the privilege of learning from women I idolize and sharing my story with younger girls. It was always my hope that they, at their tender ages, would not feel so alone knowing that women before them have made it through similar situations... and become better and stronger human beings in spite of their struggles.

It's been incredible, enlightening, inspiring and motivating. I've learned that I have more interests and more passions in life than I ever thought possible. A typically scared individual, I am learning to stare my fears in the face and conquer them without second guessing myself (something I've struggled with my entire life).

Over the past two years, self-exploration has been in the forefront of my life. I've dedicated countless hours to journaling, dating myself, engaging in hard conversations with people I trust and really getting to know who I am. Learning about my needs and how I can best serve myself and the people in my life, was one of the most incredible self-discoveries I've made. Throughout this time I also learned that I hadn't really given myself permission to dream. I think a lot of times, we limit the dreaming to the kiddos, emphasizing that they CAN DO ANYTHING they set their minds to. At a certain point, we stop reaching for some of those dreams. Perhaps we achieve them, perhaps we settle for something less than our original aspirations... but somewhere in my nearly 30 years, I started to stop believing that the dreams I had dreamt up as a child were attainable.

Almost a year ago exactly, I wrote about a quote from one of my favorite philanthropists, Sophia Bush. Earlier this week, the quote resurfaced for me, and it now resides on the cover of a binder that is housing one of my most precious dreams. Part of the quote reads,

“The dream is what you imagine, the hustle is what you have to do to actually live it and the hustle is hard, no matter what career path you’re in.” –Sophia Bush

We get so caught up in being dreamers. People appreciate that you have a dream and often look at dreams with romanticized ideations. But I think sometimes we become so enamored with dreams being dreams that we forget (or we don't actually believe) that we are capable of making them come true. I know that I'm incredibly guilty of that. When thinking about my aforementioned dream, it always seemed so far out of reach, a beautiful thought, something to fantasize over. I don't think I ever truly believed it was something I was meant to accomplish.

IATG instagram post

So what of dreams, then?? I refuse to believe that dreams are meant to stay dreams. Dreaming is a beautiful concept but I can't help but become frustrated at the idea that dreaming is merely theoretical. What purpose do dreams serve if we only look to them to give us warm and fuzzy false hope?! We owe it to our dreams and to ourselves to chase after them with the intent of catching them... or, if you ask me, we do not deserve to dream them at all.

This binder of mine, it comes with me everywhere. With it, I carry a journal that I am utilizing to brainstorm, plan, and explore the depths of my creativity and my passion. The simple act of keeping this physical representation of my dream close has helped reaffirm the "hustle" for me. It is allowing me the space to dream out loud, so to speak. Having it close at all times gives me the opportunity to embrace inspiration when it comes, instead of putting it off until I have time (if you know me... you know I'd be waiting for months). For the first time since I was a little girl reciting monologues and making music videos in my bedroom mirror, I am actively and confidently pursuing a dream I've had for 10 years.

It feels good people. It feels really good.

So my friends, I implore you to dream dreams. Don't place yourself in the box of adulthood and assume you have no right. Dreaming is for everyone... not just the kiddos. But don't dream in vain. Decide what you want and actively pursue it. Remember, “The dream is what you imagine, the hustle is what you have to do to actually live it..." 

Hustle hard my friends,

and dream on.

Wishing you growth, gratitude and grace always-
xo AL

Real-Life Superwomen

Have you ever been given the advice not to meet your hero? Don't approach your favorite celebrity, athlete or author --because they will never live up to the idealistic version of them you have created in your head??

I've heard it.

But I choose not to believe it.

You see. I've met two of my (S)HERO's now. One in person, one via conference call.

When I met Emily Greener (co-founder of my life preserver, I AM THAT GIRL), I felt heard, supported and inspired. At that point in my life, I had been writing for IATG for a year as a blogger, and had launched 2 chapters at that time, but Emily and I had never truly interacted other than a short conversation via skype. When we met, she walked right up to me, a virtual stranger, hugged me, looked me in the eyes and said, "I know you," with the most incredibly genuine smile. It was remarkable. She did know me. Because, like every other girl who finds the opportunity to meet someone they admire, I wanted to know her heart, what made her tick and how she felt about life. She gifted me with the knowledge of those things. Part of the way through our conversation she looked at me with curious eyes and asked, "Do you want to have kids?" Now, even though I'm of child bearing age, I am CRAZY single!! So, I laughed a bit and I smiled at her, informing her that I did in fact want to have kids some day. She shook her head in the most loving way and said, "I bet you'll be a great mom." I'm not sure if I can accurately explain how that comment made me feel. How does any compliment from your hero resonate? I was on top of the world with that, and so grateful for the opportunity to learn from and grow with this beautiful woman for the next 24 hours. It was a dream.

Tonight I heard the words of Emily's partner in crime, Alexis Jones. Alexis is now the chairwoman of the board of IATG, but is also Emily's co-founder. I used the term "life preserver" previously when referring to IATG because this organization has not only saved me from drowning, it has also continued to keep me afloat. Alexis joined our monthly leader call tonight, and it was the first time in my years with IATG that I've had the privilege of hearing her speak live. I'm not sure there are enough words in the English language to accurately describe how deeply I felt everything this woman said. She was authentic, she was real, she was vulnerable... everything she has taught us to be. She was absolutely everything I would have expected, and yet my mind is completely blown. I learned, that this woman who I have spent the better part of 3 years admiring is far more like me than I ever would have assumed. We have similar personalities traits and quirks. We handle our stress and anxiety in exactly the same way. We struggle with some of the same insecurities, and we have very VERY similar passions in life.

I'm not sure if I can adequately express what it is like to come to the realization that your heros are more like you that you could have ever dreamed... but it has my heart feeling all kinds of feels tonight. I AM THAT GIRL is setting new standards for how women treat themselves and each other. I am beside myself that I have chosen two role models who are living proof that hard work, perseverance, big dreams and a kind heart can get you exactly where you want to go. There are no other words for these beauties... just a sigh of gratitude for stumbling across a tweet a few years back about some bad ass ladies who were marching to Washington. At a time when I needed them most... they were there for me, and they still are. Now, they're just opening the door for me to be THAT GIRL for someone else... and the circle of life continues.

Love True-
Allison

Update

I'm BAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKK...

I can't believe it's almost five months since I've done a blog post for this site. 5 months. WOW.

Don't worry... I've been writing. But when you're sending in submissions and saving all your best ideas for a slightly larger audience, the piddly personal blog tends to sit on the back burner. With that being said... I LOVE I AM THAT GIRL!!! I have thoroughly enjoyed writing every single piece I have written for them. I am so proud of the work that I have put in there, and I know that writing for them has helped me immensely in developing this craft.

Since I've written last many things have happened. I'll fill you in below:

1. I turned 29 (and that is where the conversation ends)
2. The 3rd Anniversary of Avery's passing occurred late in October. (I usually function horribly for about a month each year at this time)
3. We celebrated another amazing Turkey Bowl with the Gillette family (our epic Thanksgiving tradition)
4. I coached my first EVER State All Around Champion (such a proud moment)
5. We celebrated our first Christmas with a sibling missing, which signified we are really growing up and moving on (Abby was off adventuring with her boyfriend's family in Chile)
6. I took on a role within the IATG local chapter program that I absolutely love (those girls give me so much joy)
7. I was approached by the National Eating Disorder Information Centre in Canada to write another article for their blog (which I am incredibly honored to do)
8. Our gymnastics team has gotten off to an incredible start to the season. We only have 3 meets left before conference!!!!

There are so many more updates, and I'll write on them as I see fit. I just wanted to pop in and say I have not disappeared... and shit's about to get real.

:)

Love True,
Allison

Extraordianary

This post was originally published at www.iamthatgirl.com


"You are profoundly and utterly extraordinary."
-Alexis Jones

My heart claps incredibly loud reading these words (Disclaimer: the term "heartclap" is a signature phrase in the IATG community used when something truly resonates deep within your soul). The words of a woman who has, without ever meeting me or knowing anything about me, completely reshaped the image I have of myself. I did not know confidence like this existed for me. I knew it existed of course, I just wasn't aware it was something I could manifest within myself. That is, until I stumbled across the I AM THAT GIRL phenomenon sweeping this nation.

I had friends who were beautiful, intelligent, witty, confident fire crackers and I was JEALOUS. I remember wishing that I was more like THAT GIRL, even though there were a lot of girls in my life whose qualities I lusted after. I wished I had THAT GIRL's confidence, or THAT GIRL's athleticism. My roommates were all THAT GIRL to me because they were brilliant, beautiful and had incredible senses of humor.

Everyone loves THAT GIRL because she exhibits all of these incredible qualities. She's strong without appearing over confident, she's loving without seeming over bearing, she's beautiful on the outside without knowing it and she's beautiful on the inside with the most selfless heart.

My entire life I knew girls like this and secretly looked up to them. I always wished, with my whole heart, that I could be just like THAT GIRL.

When I found Alexis Jones and the I AM THAT GIRL community, I bought her book immediately and messages like this started flooding through my heart:

"To be 'that girl' just means you're going to give life your best shot, that you're not going to make excuses or justifications, that you're going to go for it, whatever that means for you. It also means you're going to be an example of true beauty in the world and encourage the same for all the other women in your life. Being 'that girl' means you are a constant work in progress-- you're willing to be vulnerable, flawed, and compassionate and are someone who stumbles and falls but isn't afraid to admit her shortcomings in the midst of her magnificence."

That's when I started thinking about all of those girls who I had admired for being THAT GIRL in my life. I had never felt like THAT GIRL. I had never assumed I'd be worthy of the same kind of admiration I had been feeling for my rockstar friends. But reading Alexis' words about what truly defined THAT GIRL gave me a strange sense of enlightenment.

I'm giving life my best shot. I'm living life inexcusably, and going after my dreams same as the next girl. I love with my whole heart and acknowledge the fact that imperfection is the most beautiful expression of womanhood. Coming to the realization that being a "work in progress" is okay was completely liberating for me. I had always had this idealized vision of who I could be when I become that perfect version of myself. But through my involvement in this incredibly inspiring community I've realized that embracing exactly who I am NOW is the most perfect display of grace.

I AM THAT GIRL. It may have taken me 27 years to figure that out, but I have. All of those other girls... they are THAT GIRL too, but so am I, and I am finally at a place in my life where I can appreciate that my sense of humor, my athleticism, my beauty, my brains and my confidence are what make me, ME! They are unique to my own self and yours are unique to YOU!

It's great to have role models, or people you admire. But inn admiring all of your idols don't lose sight of what makes you THAT GIRL, because that's exactly what you are. Embrace all of your Beauty-full... because there's a lot of it within you.

"The dream is what you imagine…"

Its been a while since I’ve written a blog specifically for myself. It’s not that I haven’t been writing, because I have, mostly for I AM THAT GIRL, but I’ve also been working on a secret project I’m not ready to talk about. I promise, that when I am, you’ll be the first ones to know J

There are a couple of reasons you haven’t heard from me lately. First because my writing for I AM THAT GIRL has a deadline, and that typically becomes the priority… and second, most days I am so damn tired I can’t concentrate long enough to formulate a concise thought.

Not kidding.

I’ve been overwhelmed a lot lately, trying to keep up with the hustle and bustle. I have so many roles that I play and sometimes I find myself forgetting who I am supposed to be in any given moment. Am I the employee or the boss, the intern or the supervisor, the teacher or the coach, the faculty advisor or the chapter member, the sister, the daughter, the grand daughter, the friend, the writer, the mentor or the mentee?

Sometimes it’s hard to keep all of my roles straight, and I wonder if other people struggle with the same fear… of completely losing sight of who I am in all of these characters that I am portraying each day.

Two days ago I came across an article on Facebook. It was an interview with my long time (S)HERO. Now, I love Sophia Bush for a number of reasons. Like any teen of early 2000s I lived and breathed One Tree Hill. But it was when I joined Twitter and started following Sophia that I learned her super power was not acting.

Sophia is a remarkable human being. She is a culture shifter, a voice for those who cannot speak and an incredible warrior for change. She is an activist and a philanthropist and a humanist and I praise God every day for her; because following Sophia brought me to I AM THAT GIRL, and I AM THAT GIRL has changed my life, enhanced my life and I may even go so far as to say it saved my life. (Why I love IATG and how it's Changed My Life)

The article talked about all of Sophia’s endeavors… and if I thought I wore a lot of hats, you should check out her collection HERE – Near the end of the article, she is quoted with four sentences that completely adjusted my perspective on the hectic and exhausting lifestyle I lead:

“The dream is what you imagine, the hustle is what you have to do to actually live it and the hustle is hard, no matter what career path you’re in. I’m so excited about life, and I’m exhausted. I’m happiest when I’m doing 10 things at once. It’s what I wished for.” –Sophia Bush

Amen girl. Thank you for your incredible perspective! For as overwhelmed as I get at times… I am so lucky to be doing so many amazing things that I am passionate about. Sure, I run a risk of becoming incredibly overwhelmed and it can be confusing having so many roles… but the truly beautiful part is that I get to share my heart every day in multiple facets and work with so many different and inspiring people. It’s amazing really, how someone I’ve never met can help me see something so deep within my soul. Since reading the article the other day, I’ve had the most inspired outlook on my life and all of the crazy, random and truly beautiful pieces that together, create this stunning mosaic that is the perfect depiction of my life.

Everyone longs to live out their dream… lucky for me, I have so many dreams I get to live on a regular basis. Am I done yet? Hell no. I have so much more I want and NEED to do…  and with living proof that it’s possible (thanks, girl), I know I can maintain the hustle. Because the hustle is what it takes, and that is entirely worth it.

Love True,

Allison

Why I Love I AM THAT GIRL, and How it's Changed My Life

I Skyped with 5 girls from Belgium on Friday. Then on Saturday, I Skyped with another group of girls in Arkansas. 

I'm not sure when, exactly, I found I AM THAT GIRL. I do know it was around the time that Alexis and Emily went to Washington DC and had an audience with some of the most influential people in this country. I heard about it on Twitter, and I thought to myself, "Who are these fearless women who are trying to change girl culture? And how can I be a part of it." 

I had recently relapsed from my eating disorder recovery, while I was dealing with a tragedy and a broken heart. I knew I wanted to be as strong as these women, but I didn't know how... so I decided to follow them. 

I kept up with their tweets, was a frequent visitor of their Facebook page and read every blog they posted. Their energy was unlike any I had ever experienced. It was electric, and with every post I read, every tweet I consumed, I felt more and more alive. 

On February 25th, 2014 I took the I AM THAT GIRL pledge and joined the movement officially. The pledge states, "I am perfectly flawed and sublimely beautyFULL. I am a constant work in progress. I recognize that what I admire in others also exists within myself. As a member of this community, I promise to collaborate instead of compete and remind other girls of their worth when they've forgotten. I'm on a mission to turn self-doubt into self-love, to use my voice, to share my truth, to love others and to leave this world better than I found it."  

In August I felt strong enough to reach out to the organization, to thank them for everything they've done and to possibly give back in any way I could. I emailed the website... and on August 18th, I got a response. 

Alyssa, this amazingly spunky and gregarious woman responded to my email. She was so incredible and immediately put me in contact with the woman who would become my first ever "editor," Sheila. Now Sheila, is amazing. Sheila is someone I would like to refer to as a "life cheerleader." Sheila is encouraging, inspiring and so motivating. I had never written anything for anyone but myself and she walked me through the entire process, all the while, metaphorically holding my hand from 1000 miles away. 

And so it began, my journey as a blogger for I AM THAT GIRL. I wrote articles about going to college, realizing your potential, lighting your inner fire, dreaming out loud and fighting your fears. I even had an opportunity to write for another online organization called Beauty Con as a sort of "Ask Abby" columnist. However, if you would have asked me in August how deep I would go, I would never have guessed I would find the courage to write my most vulnerable piece, A Love Letter to Me: Healing an Eating Disorder- Sheila helped me with that. She encouraged my brave and gave me the confidence to write it... and I will be forever grateful to her for that.

Prior to this however, I had decided that I was ready to be a chapter leader and Sheila put me in touch with Kate. 

Kate. 

Good lord, these ladies are magic. Kate was no different. In fact, Kate was exceptional. Kate welcomed me with open arms and talked me through the "leading" process. I've never been a leader by title. In all of my athletic opportunities, I've never been bestowed the honor of being named an official "captain." It wasn't deserved then... I wasn't ready.

But Kate helped me get ready. She gave me the tools and convinced me of my worth. That I was prepared to lead vulnerable discussions and help the women around me discover their value. 

After 3 months of successful meetings I was ready to spread the wealth. I found two of the most AMAZING ladies to mentor, and together we created the I AM THAT GIRL- UWW Chapter. After only three meetings this spring, they had 12 girls coming to share in the conversation! I think it's safe to say that Alex and Hannah have exactly what it takes to lead these young women... and they've done it fearlessly! 

Image Courtesy of www.iamthatgirl.com

Recently, I was named to I AM THAT GIRL's Empowerment Team. I've been connecting with girls all over the country (& BELGIUM!!) who are members of this unbelievable organization! I have heard incredible stories of strength, triumph and perseverance from women of all ages, all cultures and all walks of life. And the most important thing I have learned is that we are not alone. No matter how dark your struggle may be, no matter how prolonged it may seem, there is always someone who has made it to the other side who is willing to help pull you to safety. There is always a judgement free ear to listen, even if they cannot help you directly. And there is always a smile on the other end of a Skype call happy to congratulate you on being a badass woman... simply for living. 

I cannot wait to see where this journey will take me. It has only enhanced my quality of life and my interactions with all of the women (whether 2 years or 85 years) with whom I keep company. My life is full of blessings, and I AM THAT GIRL is most definitely one of them! 

Thank you... to some truly remarkable women... You know exactly who you are!! (xo-Al)

Love True,
Allison

**If you would like more information on I AM THAT GIRL or would like to find a Chapter in your area, check us out Here!

Love Letter to Me

So that courage I was talking about last time... here's where it led.

I had an article due for I AM THAT GIRL for the month of February. I knew that it would probably go up toward the end of the month. You know what else is at the end of the month of February??? National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. BAM.

The idea hit me like a big yellow school bus.

So I wrote to my editor, and asked her thoughts. I wanted to know if they had done anything for NEDA week before, and if she thought my idea would be worth pursuing.

They Hadn't.

And she did...

So I wrote a letter to my former self. The person I used to be when I was very, very sick. And I clicked send.

HOLY SHIT!!!  << that's me freaking out after hitting the send button.

Too late now, incredibly vulnerable and self revealing letter to myself has been sent...

Fast forward 2 weeks and I'm waiting for the post.

NOTHING on Monday or Tuesday.

Wednesday? Nope.

Wait... Why hasn't it gone up.

When Saturday passed I felt hopeless.

Sunday, I was just plain depressed.

NEDA week had come and gone and there was no sign of my incredibly personal and raw article.

I was so confused.

(Well, it turns out I was confused for no reason. There was a clerical error and my article didn't get posted when it should have. Nothing malicious, just a mistake... and it got posted on Tuesday afternoon)

By Wednesday evening (tonight) there are almost 2000 likes 17 comments and over 200 shares of my article. The love I've received in response to posting this letter is tremendous and overwhelming! I can't believe what has come from sharing just a little bit of myself with the world.

You can see my article here: A Love Letter to Me: Healing an Eating Disorder

Being brave can be liberating... go on... I dare you! I want to see you be BRAVE!

Love True,

Allison