What I Love About Sunday

I had a great day today.  It started off with one of the absolute best decision I could have made.

I have always had this tiny piece of me that felt guilty for never going to church in Whitewater.  Over the last 8 years, the only time I've attended church has been when I've been home with my family, at a wedding, baptism, or a funeral.  I had the Fellowship of Christian Athletes when I was in school... and though I didn't go every single week, it felt like enough to me then.  Once I graduated, I stopped going to FCA.  It wasn't until this fall, when my faith was truly tested, that I started to really get the urge to find a place to worship.  I prayed... don't get me wrong.  During that time, I prayed and I prayed and I prayed.  But it wasn't enough.  I was lost, and going to church was not something I could direct myself to do.

There was a lot of working, a lot of reading and a lot of exercising during those months... but nothing seemed to help me cope with the feeling that something was missing from my life.  My faith had been weakened, and I needed something to strengthen it.  I wanted to go to church, but I kept finding other things to do, reasons why I couldn't go.  I think I was trying to avoid admitting that I "needed" something, something I couldn't provide to myself.

Last night I made a decision to try a church in Whitewater.  I woke up this morning, got ready, and headed off to Crosspointe Community Church. I have never... I repeat... NEVER gone to church by myself before.  However, I was instantly overwhelmed by the people of this beautiful church.  The door was opened for me upon entering and exiting the church by a woman who could put every single Wal*Mart greeter to shame.  As I sat down, I was instantly recognized by one couple as the "gymnastics coach from UW-Whitewater" (their kids are in my GymHawks program), and they immediately welcomed me to their church.

Worship itself was amazing.  I have grown up in a Catholic Church, so the non-denominational service was very different from what I am used to.  We sang... a lot.  And for those of you who know me- this was right up my alley!  The sermon was on point, and the pastor was captivating from the very first word.  It was incredibly engaging... and I left the service feeling happy and strong, checking my calender to make sure I could attend next week.

I can.  :)

After church I headed off to celebrate the graduation of the sweetest girl.  My friend Jadrian, is a wonderful young lady.  She is beautiful, a loving daughter, a great friend and a devoted big sister.  You know how I know all of this about her???  Because Avery told me!!!  Jadrian is Avery's big sister, and boy oh boy, did Avery love that girl.  She would talk my ear off at practice, "Jadrian this" and "Jadrian that" and "Jadrian is so great" and "Jadrian made me so mad" (the last of which absolutely confirms her AWESOME big sister status... trust me, it's a big sister's job to make the little ones mad -haha, sorry Abby!)

Hanging out with two of my favorite people!  Bridget and Jadrian! Congrats, Jai!

I met some truly beautiful people today.  People who also love this wonderful family, and I know exactly why.  They are remarkable in their strength and their love for one another.  They are remarkable in their faith and their sense of humor (Hey Bridget, Yahtzee!!!).  They are remarkable in their passion for life and their devotion to the ones they care about.  I am blessed to know them, truly blessed.

I left the graduation party feeling happier and stronger than I did when I left church (if that was even possible).  Once I got home I got ready and headed to the gym where I planned on knocking a couple of miles off of my to-do-list.  Well, the strength kept carrying me through, and a couple of miles turned in to 5!  I was so proud of myself!  5 miles is the farthest I've ever run without stopping.  Maybe by the end of this 30 days I'll be ready to try a 1/2 marathon!?  (Hold up, Al.  Don't get ahead of yourself.)  

I apologize for sounding like a journal entry today... just wanted to share my wonderful day with you all.  Sometimes all you need is a great Sunday to help you smile.

Love True,

Allison

Craig Morgan- "That's What I Love About Sunday"

Raymond's in his Sunday best,
He's usually up to his chest in oil an' grease.
There's the Martin's walkin' in,
With that mean little freckle-faced kid,
Who broke a window last week.
Sweet Miss Betty likes to sing off key in the pew behind me. 

That's what I love about Sunday:
Sing along as the choir sways;
Every verse of Amazin' Grace,
An' then we shake the Preacher's hand.
Go home, into your blue jeans;
Have some chicken an' some baked beans.
Pick a back yard football team,
Not do much of anything:
That's what I love about Sunday. 

I stroll to the end of the drive,
Pick up the Sunday Times, grab my coffee cup.
It looks like Sally an' Ron, finally tied the knot,
Well, it's about time.
It's 35 cents off a ground round,
Baby. cut that coupon out! 

That's what I love about Sunday:
Cat-napping on the porch swing;
You curled up next to me,
The smell of jasmine wakes us up.
Take a walk down a back road,
Tackle box and a cane pole;
Carve our names in that white oak,
An' steal a kiss as the sun fades,
That's what I love about Sunday,
Oh, yeah. 

Ooh, new believers gettin' baptized,
Momma's hands raised up high,
Havin' a Hallelujah good time
A smile on everybody's face.
That's what I love about Sunday,
Oh, yeah. 

That's what I love about Sunday,
Oh, yeah.

Challenge

I've been watching my kids bust their butts at practice this week.  They've been working extremely hard.  Many are getting new skills, many are trying skills that frighten them, and I couldn't be more proud.  I have seen a fire lit in most of them.  Watching them work out has been like watching that fire rage, gaining strength and power as the days go by.  They all have a goal... and they are working incredibly hard for it.  

I decided that I need to have a goal.  I spent 20 years with physical goals.  Goals of perfection.  Goals to better my ability, and to "better" my body.  Though some of those goals had misguided intentions, well intended goals are good to have- In fact, they are great to have, and I'm quite certain that I am ready to tackle a challenge.  

I started running a lot when I was sick.  Sure, it was a great way to burn calories... but it was a perfect escape for me.  I do some of my clearest thinking when I'm running.  I love the way the sun feels on my skin, the way the air blows my ponytail back and forth, and the way my muscles ache when I'm at the end of a long, satisfying run.  It's like the best form of meditation on Earth.  :)

Anyway, I decided to give myself a little challenge... I'm going to try to run 75 miles in 30 days.  Yes, I know... that's not a huge number for big time runners.  That's like 6 days worth of running for a marathon runner.  But hey... I was a gymnast, not a runner... so this is my challenge.  I need something to work towards, I need something to achieve... and running 75 miles in 30 days will be quite the accomplishment for me!  Day 1 begins tomorrow :)  I shall keep you all posted!  

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love True,
Allison


"Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it."

Love.

Love.
noun

1.

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.

sexual passion or desire.

4.

a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5.

(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie,love?

My amazing friend, Nicole
and her new husband, Eli.

What is love?  As you can see above, Love is something that can be felt, it can be given and it can be received.  Love, as a noun... is everything we hope to obtain in this world.

Last weekend I witnessed Love.  Real Love.  Love so strong that it was able to bind two beautiful people together in marriage.  My dear, sweet, friend married the man of her dreams and I was fortunate enough to be included in their blissful day.  And it was just that... BLISSFUL.  There was so much Love in the room when Nicole and Eli exchanged their vows, and the Love was overflowing from the room as we celebrated their union all night long.

With the beautiful Bride and her Groom!

These days, many of my dear friends are discovering Love in it's truest form.  I have been to more weddings and witnessed more Love in the last 24 months than in the previous 24 years of my life combined.  Watching two people commit to each other, vow to love one another until the end of their days is the most inspiring and exhilarating event to watch.

Today my parents celebrated their 29th wedding anniversary.  On a daily basis, I am witness to a love that is so pure and so honest, and I couldn't be more grateful.  My parents, whose friendship began in middle school, are best friends.  My dad is my Mom's Prince Charming and she is his Queen... and as cliche' as that might sound, I can guarantee that spending just one hour with them would most certainly clear up any doubts as to the truth I speak.

My always inspiring parents. 

Love is the single most desired "thing" in this world.  Anyone who tells you they desire something else, something less, does not fully understand the magnitude of Love or the influence Love can have on a person.

My life has been abundantly blessed with Love; but I have yet to discover the Love that Nicole and Eli have found or the Love that my parents have so beautifully demonstrated.  I hope and pray that myself, and everyone else who is still looking, will uncover something great, something magical, something everlasting like the love of my wonderful parents.

One of my favorite songs these days is an Adele remake of a Bob Dylan song.  The song is about longing, and what lengths a person would go to for Love.  These lyrics are so beautiful and are such a testament to the Love my parents still share after 29 years.  Here's to the next 29! I love you both!!

"I could hold you for a million years.  To make you feel my Love."

Adele- "To Make You Feel My Love"

Love True-
Allison

Whenever You Remember

My babies are graduating, and I am distraught as I imagined I would be.  These young ladies have helped to shape and mold me into the coach that I am.  Though I have a lot of learning left to do, and I would never assume I know everything about the sport of gymnastics (realistically I've probably covered about 12%) - I can honestly say that I am who I am in part because of these five beautiful women.

My beautiful little sisters.  Annie, Morgan, Siri, Katie and Mary Kate

These ladies have un-equivocally reshaped our gymnastics program.  They have climbed the mountains and set the bar unimaginably high.  Between the 5 of them, there are more awards and recognition than perhaps the last three or four graduating classes combined.  It's amazing that four years ago, they came here as teenagers who were not quite sure what they were getting in to... Now, as women, they are leaving a legacy behind of what it means to be a Warhawk Gymnast.

These girls have changed me.  They have inspired me.  They have moved me.  I can't imagine where we would be without their leadership- and I truly know I would be lost without them.

I wouldn't say we have a normal coach/gymnast relationship... as these girls were once my teammates.  You see, I spent my senior year of gymnastics in a boot healing a broken foot.  When we realized I wouldn't be able to compete at all, a decision was made to red-shirt my senior year.  I was already returning to school to get my Master's degree, and it just made sense to remain a part of the gymnastics program I held so close to my heart.

It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make during my gymnastics career.  Because I had these girls to think about.

Angel, Ashley, Katie, Dani and I- January 2007

They were my soul mates, my confidants, and my sisters... and the thought of doing gymnastics without them by my side made me sick to my stomach.  I wasn't the most emotionally stable at the time, and I will be the first person to admit that.  They were a part of me... and they still are.  It's funny because when I look at the little girls who turned into women in front of my eyes, I'm reminded of the sisters who stood by me and carried me through the tough times.  I see my sisters in these seniors more now than ever.  They have grown in to these incredible women who respect each other, lead by example and truly love one another.

They are the epitome of what it means to be a team.

These ladies have laughed with me, cried with me, and held my head above water when I thought I would drown.  We have been teammates, friends, colleagues (they have all worked for me at some point) and sisters.  I consider each one of them a little sister, and I am so proud of the women they have become.  Our lives will never be the same without them next year, but I can assure you... their legacy will live on at Whitewater, for years and years to come.

"Remember how we reached that dream together."- My girls with their National Championship trophy.

They chose Carrie Underwood's "Whenever You Remember" as their senior song this year.  It's perfect.  It reminds me daily of my own sisters and what we were able to overcome together, and prides me to know that these girls feel the same about each other as we did then... and still do today.

My sisters and I during our Sophomore Year- 2007

PROUD.

The word just doesn't seem to do them justice... but I guess it will have to work.

I hope these ladies look back on their time here and remember every moment.  All of the victories, all of the struggles, all of the times they stepped up for someone else.  I can only pray that they carry this place and this family with them as they take their journey through life.  I know I will certainly hold a special place in my heart for each of them, my little ones.

The girls at their last Nationals Banquet.

Love True,

Allison

"Whenever You Remember" - Carrie Underwood

When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And no they won't forget


Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

When you think back on all we've done
I hope you're proud
When you look back and see how far we've come
It was our time to shine
And nobody could hold us down
They thought they'd see us fall
But we, we stood so tall
And no we won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

Yeah, Oh

We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
You know that we, we showed them all
And no they won't forget

Yeah

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

Whenever you remember

Oh, whenever you remember

We walk by faith

I have trouble sleeping.  Call me a thinker, a worry wart, the queen of stressing out- they are all warranted nick names.  I've tried taking nyquil, benadryl, hot showers, sleeping bundled up, sleeping naked, melatonin, sleepy time tea, eating before bed, not eating before bed, working out, meditation, falling asleep to the tv... you name it.  And some of those things worked... for a while.  However, with the risk of becoming a Benadryl junkie looming over my head, I have resorted to abandoning most of those strategies.

The winner lately has been reading.  Yep!  Reading.  It's so simple.  You read your kids a bedtime story to help them fall asleep, until they are old enough to read to themselves... and then they do.  I remember going to bed with piles of books in my lap as a kid.  As a teenager... HELL NO.  I was more of a, "school, gymnastics, piano lessons, voice lessons, youth group, volleyball and drama club take up enough of my attention, and I'm going to laugh if you try to tell me I have to focus on one more thing" kind of girl.

Anyway-

I've been reading a lot of Nicholas Sparks lately.  It's funny.  He was the first author I remember really liking as a teen.  When we got to choose a book to read for English class I picked, A Bend in the Road.    Though, I don't really remember the book in any detail, I do remember loving it- and the way the author shared his words.  Since then, I've read four of his books in the last two months, and I'm in Heaven! Call me a romantic, and there's not a chance in hell I'll deny it.  This brilliant writer has words that give this single lady hope about life and love.

Not that I'm a cynic, because I'm not.  And it's not that I don't have faith in love, because I do. In fact, I lived a long time with this cookie cutter idea of what "love" truly is.  Imagining love as this wholesome, inspiring and somewhat perfect state of being.  That's not real.  Love is hard.  And in that reality it's just nice to use your imagination (reading a story) to discover the human condition.  No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes I think that when I read stories about love and it's imperfection... I'm reminded of how perfect the imperfections can truly be.

There's a verse I love, "For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5-7

It's so important to remember this.  (And I do forget from time to time) He has a plan.  PERIOD.  And no matter how you may try to finagle a situation... it's going to come out the way He wants it to... and that's okay, because that's exactly how it should be.  It's not easy to trust faith with complete certainty... especially where your heart is concerned.  But I can only assume, that if the imperfections outweigh everything else, there is a greater lesson to be learned.

What I've learned is that no matter what is going on in your life, the sun will come up tomorrow (cue the Annie theme song), and whether it's a cloudy day or a rainy day, a day is still a day... and as long as we continue to wake up to new days, it is our obligation to make the most of them.  It may not be easy to see at times, but each day is a gift.  Each opportunity to live is a privilege.  The way you spend your days is up to you.  You might have a few bad days mixed in with some great ones... but if you learned something from the bad days then they were most definitely worth it.

Walk by faith... not by sight.  You don't need to see love right in front of you to know that it exists or receive love in order to give it.  And you don't need to see God to know He has a plan.  Love is there, He is there... and the faith will never let you down.

Love True,
Allison

5 Years

April marks a pretty big milestone in my life.  It's my Healthiversary!!  You might be wondering, "Al, what on Earth is a Healthiversary??"  And you'd be completely right to wonder, since I totally just made that word up! (HA!)

At any rate, a healthiversary is an anniversary of health.  That's right, I got healthy in April... 5 years ago.  Well, that's the month I'm choosing to recognize as my first step towards recovery.  April of 2008... I had had enough.  I spent most of that year watching my team do gymnastics.  Instead of doing the sport I loved I was meeting with a nutritionist, a counselor, a therapist, our team doctor and our athletic trainer.  I was having daily conversations with my coach, my mom and my roommates
(add in all of the people I mentioned above), and I was DONE talking about it.  I think I was honestly just exhausted by the fuss... and I knew what I needed to do.

I needed to get better.  I needed to get healthy.  And if I ever wanted to do gymnastics again, I needed to do it FAST.  So I worked hard, extremely hard, at it every day.  I wrote in a journal, I researched strategies, I talked to the six billion individuals who cared about me, and I prayed.

It was a very, VERY, long road.  One that started over a year before hand... and six and a half years later, I'm still walking the road of recovery.  Scratch that, I'm not walking anywhere.  I'm running... at a dead sprint.

It would be a crime for me to say that I'm 100% cured.  That would be wrong.  Because I'm not.  It's a conscious effort and a day to day choice for me to remain on this health journey.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.  I had to crawl on my hands and knees out of a hole so deep I could barely see the light from the top and I am not falling back in.  I am out of that hole and miles away from where it lies, and very proud of the distance I've put between it and myself.

Things happen, and life gets hard, and I no longer resort to my old coping mechanisms. Or so I thought. This year, I,  and some of the people closest to me, went through a tragedy.  This was the first time I had been truly tested since I had been on my journey to recovery... and I failed at first.  I will whole-heartedly and honestly admit that I failed for a while.  I let my grief consume me for a long time, and I stumbled backward towards that hole... much closer than I would like to admit to.

The more I learned about the little girl we loved and lost, the more I learned about myself.  Avery didn't want me to fall back into that hole.  As a matter of fact, she absolutely wouldn't have it.  So she sent me some words that would act as a slingshot to get me farther away from the darkness than I had ever been.

I will always carry these words with me, &
have a constant reminder of her unwavering faith.

"I lift my eyes to the hills.  Where does my help come from?  My help comes from The Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth." - Psalm 121


I've thought about those words a million times in the six months since she's passed.  And each time I find them to ring even more true than the time before.  Avery's faith was so deep and so unwavering, and she was so happy.  So, I found faith in Her faith... and I started to run again- Fast, and towards the light.

My life has been abundantly blessed.  Blessed with people who have encouraged me, supported me, and just plain refused to let me self destruct when it looked like that's the path I was headed down.  Those people: My family who love me more than anyone probably should, my coaches who showed me an abundance of patience, and my friends who loved me with their whole hearts and even though they couldn't understand what I was going through, they surrounded me with more love than I could have ever given them back.

Yep, I'm a lucky girl.

One of my best friends commented on my progress today... and said, "I know you still look out for others more than yourself, but you don't forget about yourself anymore... Your inner beauty has come through more than anything."  If I could even put into words what that statement means to me, I would.  But I can't.  This coming from a person who saw me through my absolute LOWEST, who cried with me and held me and never judged me. She told me I was beautiful day in and day out- even when I couldn't look her in the eye, because I knew she meant it and I wasn't ready to believe it.

Did I mention how great my friends are?

I came across a new Dove Ad.  (PLEASE watch this!!) About the way we see ourselves versus the way others see us, and I melted.  I knew this blog was approaching and this video was the icing on the cake.  I smiled watching it because I knew that the picture I could have helped draw five years ago would look EXTREMELY different from the picture I would help draw now.  I don't see those faults the way I used to.  When I look in the mirror... I see me.  That's it.  And I'm happy.

I hope that every woman can see themselves the way that their friends see them, or the way their boyfriends or husbands or Moms or daughters see them.  Don't hesitate to tell your friends they are beautiful.  They might not believe you right away, but a little positive reinforcement can go a long way. And so can a little help from above.  ;-)  (Thanks, Avery!!)

So... here's to my 5 year Healthiversary, to those who have offered any (and I mean ANY) support along the way... and to the next 5 years!!  


Love True-
Allison

Waiting

I had been spending my evening watching Youtube videos of Christian rock star, Jamie Grace, looking at Facebook pictures of my team's recent National Championship, and searching for songs I want to learn to sing, when I switched tabs on my browser to my twitter feed.

BOOM.

That's when these words smacked me across the face.  

"The longer you wait for your future, the shorter it will be."  

Thank you, Emily... for the swift beating your just handed me.  I needed it.  

You people are probably thinking I'm crazy, and perhaps I am, but anti-psychotics aside (just kidding of course), let me clue you in.  

I have an amazing life.  PERIOD.  That's where the story really ends.  I don't have to get into details about my amazingly supportive family, and my inspiring friends and the job I LOVE with all of my heart... I think I've covered all of that in this blog about a MILLION times.  But one thing I have never written about is my love life.  (YIKES)  Well, here goes...

I am 26 years old and single. (Cue dramatic DON DON DONNNNN) YEP... single.  And I have been... Forever.  (I wish the word Forever was an understatement... but I can't even exaggerate in the sense of that word with regards to my relationship status... and I'm exaggerating a lot right now)  :-)

Okay so, if we take another look at the facts:

Al is 26

Al has a great family

Al has AWESOME friends

Al has a kick ass job

Al is single

In a list of pretty great life situations, why does that last one have to feel like such a heavy fact.  And why the HELL do I buy into that.  Because I do.  I completely get down on myself sometimes for being "alone."  F- that!  I'm not even close to being alone!  I swear, that if I have to hear one more distant family friend, or acquaintance, or stranger ask me about my love life, and sound bummed when I tell them I am not currently dating... I might actually need those prescription drugs.  

WATCH OUT! (she's on a rampage) 

Now... I understand what you're all thinking.  You're all silently reading this saying, "Um... Al, you just said you weren't waiting for your future... so what are you waiting for?"  Well my friends, let me tell you!  

I'm waiting for that person who makes me smile.  The one I can't live without.  That person who understands all of my stupid quirks, and expects me to be a little bit crazy during gymnastics season. I'm waiting for the guy who looks at me and knows what I'm thinking, because he actually listens to me when I talk to him.  The man who understands my weird need to work out, eat ice cream and drink wine... LOTS of wine.  I'm waiting for the guy who needs me... as me, as much as I need him.  The one who will listen to me rant about the toddlers, the twelve year olds, and the 22 year olds whom I LOVE but sometimes run me completely ragged.  I'm waiting for man who will love my little sister and support her dreams the way I do because that's how I'll know he'll be a great dad.  

I'm waiting for my best friend.  

Pretty normal right??  That's what I thought.  So before you unknowingly make an understanding and  slightly sad face or remark at the next single "twenty (or thirty) something" you run into... keep these things in mind.  

1. Just because we're single, doesn't mean we're miserable... it means we haven't settled.

2. Life might get lonely from time to time... but we have friends too, so we're okay... promise. 

3. Waiting for love doesn't mean we're waiting for life... they are two completely independent things that (I'm sure) when placed hand in hand, make for an extremely meaningful and blissful existence.  

So, now that I have gotten all of this off of my chest, I will tell you what I'm going to do.  I'm going to climb down from my soapbox and get up tomorrow, go for a run, go to work, go to the grocery store, read my book, and be happy.  Sure, there may be a few other things that I squeeze into the day... maybe I'll spend time with a friend, maybe I'll go to lunch with my boss... who knows?  But the point is... I'm not WAITING to live... I'm waiting to LOVE... and there's a big difference there.  

Sweet dreams, Y'all!

Love True,

Allison